James, 3rd Grade Boy Genius

So yesterday I was shelving in children's. There were two younger boys who decided it would be a good idea to start running around and playing tag, so I asked them to stop running. One of the boy's mothers promptly appeared and chastised her son for running ("Were you running? We don't run in the library!"), and made him stay with her for the rest of their visit. The other boy had no parent in sight.

I continued shelving, and every once in a while I'd hear rapid footsteps. At one point I peeked around a shelf, just in time to see him halt to a walk, and he said "I'm not running..." in that sing-songy mocking voice that just drives you crazy.

Then, I was at the dvds, and he came over to me. This is the conversation that ensued:

Boy: "So, what? Are you just doing some work?"

Me: "Yes, that's what I'm doing."

Boy: *Pauses* "Do you know who I am?" (in that tone of voice and hand gestures that insinuate that I should indeed know who he is because is all-mighty and important)

Me: "No, who are you?"

Boy: "I'm James, 3rd grade boy genius."

Me: *trying not to laugh* "3rd grade, huh? That's a good grade."

Boy: *nods and walks off*

I just about died. When this kid grows up... he's going to be terrible.

The Questionable Way that Books are Made

Today was another pretty uneventful day, consisting of working in the bomb room, checking in the crates we received from the other branches (containing the books that people have requested), and working on the claims return list that I've had for the past week and a half.

The claims return list is made up of books that customers have said that they have turned in, but for some reason the book can't be found. Sometimes this is an error on our part (the books miss the check-in, they get discarded improperly, get shelved in the wrong place) or on the part of the customer (they only think they turned it in, have lost it, etc.). But basically when the book goes on this list, it stops accruing late fees and goes on a list that we in turn use to go hunting for the books. We do a branch one once a week, and at the beginning of the month we do an entire system-wide list. The list looks something like this:

And for some reason, this month the list was 14 pages long. So I have been working on half of it, and finally reached the last page today. And I managed to find 2 books (they're the only 2 that I have managed to find off the whole thing, it's ridiculous).

While I was looking for them, I was sitting on the rolling bench we use, and the cutest little boy came over and just stood next to me. He was probably about 2, and had blonde curly hair and dimples. Adorable. And he was like, "Hi!" to me and I just grinned and said hi back, and tried to ask him what his name was but he laughed and ran off instead of answering me. He came back a few minutes later and we repeated the routine, but I still didn't get a real answer from him. Oh well, he was still a cutie.

What I really wanted to share tonight was a book called The Wonderful Way that Babies are Made by Larry Christenson. Yes this is a real book. And it gets circulated way more than I think it should, which is a testament to the area that I live in. This book is essentially a childrens' book (although it's shelved in adult non-fiction) for parents to read to their children when asked the classic, "Where do babies come from?" question. It is an extremely Christian-centric book, some parts are written so they rhyme (at least for the younger children) and each page has a corresponding section that goes into more detail (for the older kids).

So after giving a long back story about creationism and Adam and Eve, it goes into talking about sex:

"When a sperm from the father comes together with an egg from the mother, a new baby starts to grow. God made a wonderful way for the father's sperm and the mother's egg to come together. It's something Father and Mother do that is called making love. When husbands and wives make love together, they kiss and tough and lie close to each other; for God made their bodies to fit together so the sperm from the father can swim into the mother. Making love was a wonderful part of God's plan when He made the very first woman and man. It's His beautiful gift just for husbands and wives to bring them happiness all of their lives."

And from the "older kids" section:

"Making love is one of the wonderful things God planned for husbands and wives." And "Intercourse is a very special and wonderful experience that a husband and wife share with each other. It gives them pleasurable feelings in their bodies and a sense of love and closeness to each other."

I suppose if this is your kind of thing, then this book is a pretty good resource to explain sex to younger kids. I take issue with it because of it's single-mindedness. The author makes a point of repeating over and over again that sex is between husband and wife, and condemns those who do not fit this standard, going so far as to say/imply that those who don't are terrible, horrible people. Granted, I'm aware that many people feel this way, but I don't. I like to subscribe to a more open-minded way of thinking, and I try not to judge others for their actions. Therefore, I just have to cringe when I see a book aimed at children that essentially teaches them to judge others for the things they do. There has to be a better way to get the author's message across that you should wait until you get married to make love than to say that all of those who don't are lesser and worse people than you.

P.S. Thanks for the idea for the title of this post, J! :)

The Adventures of Monkey Boy

Most of the time, one of the biggest reasons I enjoy my job is due to my interaction with the children that come to the library. For example, one of my favorite things is when I'm working in the bomb room, and a little kid will pull back the flaps covering the book drop and peek through to see where it is exactly that the books go. If I'm working back there and I see them, I'll usually smile and say hello. Sometimes they'll say hi back, or ask where the books go, but most of the time, the flaps drop back really quickly when they realize they've been caught peeking into what I assume they think of as a hidden, top-secret place.

The other day I got to show a little girl and her younger brother how to use their library cards to check out their books, they were so adorable and so excited, and another little boy got excited when I brought him a Batman book. Little kids' excitement over books is awesome to me and I love to see kids who are genuinely interested in reading. Like I said, it's these kids I enjoy and make me enjoy my job.

So that brings me to The Adventures of Monkey Boy. MB was probably about 3 years old. He came in one afternoon with a guy who's a regular at the library (the type of regular who comes in just about every day to use our computers). I have a feeling he had gotten roped into babysitting for this afternoon and wasn't really into it. So he comes in, and lets MB loose in the children's section while he sits at a computer somewhat nearby, but still pretty much out of sight of the majority of the children's section.

I was shelving books, and he was just kind of moseying around, being a kid, looking at books, etc. He was pretty cute and tame, so I didn't really have a problem keeping an eye on him. So I continued on shelving. A while later, I noticed he had sort of latched himself onto a family that was visiting. The mother had brought in her son and daughter, and was trying to sit the two of them down with her at a table for some reading time. Instead, MB was engaging the son, getting him to run around with him and climb on the furniture. I looked over and noticed the mom getting a tad exasperated, but she was still doing her best to keep her children to themselves.

Then MB decided that books = footballs. To prove this was so, he started picking books off the shelves and drop-kicking them. I glanced over at his "babysitter," who was sitting oblivious at his computer, then hurried over to MB and told him that we didn't treat books the way he was treating them. By this time, the mom was looking particularly annoyed, so I went to B (one of my supervisors) and told him what was going on. He came over and just watched for a bit to witness MB misbehavior himself, and when he started climbing on a chair, to the point that he was on the back of it, he went and got Mr. Oblivious, who took him back over to the computer where he was.

Mom was grateful, and the children's section was peaceful again.

Until a few minutes later when I looked over at the self-check in the children's section. MB had grabbed the bottle of hand sanitizer, and proceeded to use about half of it in 2 minutes. His hands were the cleanest little kid hands in the library, I'm sure, and about half of the counter and card reader was probably extra-sanitized, too, from the amount of hand sanitizer he had managed to get everywhere. I went to B again and told him what had happened (a/n: the reason I go to B instead of directly taking care of the kid myself is that that was what I had been told to do in the case of misbehaving children... let someone higher up than me take care of it). He came over to the station and cleaned up and spoke to MO again, who brought MB back to his computer, again.

I went back to shelving. And of course, MB reappeared, and started running through the children's section, and then decided that the the baskets for books (like the handheld one in the grocery store) are for sitting, standing, and jumping in. By this time, I think B and I were just like whatever, and he eventually tired himself out and passed out under the computer of MO an hour or so later.

But like I said. Kids are one of the reasons I love my job.